Category Archives: grandmas

Heh heh heh… Heh.

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The other day, Cody and I bought the cutest little stuffed monkey for our little monkey. I just couldn't resist. My Amma yells at me every time I call Linnea a little monkey- "She's not a little monkey!"- but I can't help it, it just comes out of my mouth like verbal vomit all the time now. Little monkey this, little monkey that. For instance, you know that song by the Cardigans that goes, "Love me, love me, SAY that you looove me… fool me, fool me, go on and fool me"? I don't even know what it's called but I sing, "Monkey, monkey, say you're a monkey, monkey, monkey, go on my monkey, monkey monkey, pretend you're my monkey, monkey, monkey, you are my monkey, I don't care 'bout anything but yooooooouu!" and EVERY TIME without fail, if Linnea is having a fit, she breaks out in a huge smile and I love it so much I don't care how ridiculous it is that I'm singing the word "monkey" over and over to her in the tune of some random Swedish one-hit-wonder's song from 1996. And you're welcome for getting it stuck in your head for the rest of the day. It's a gem, that one.

ANYWAY. Yesterday my mom started monkeying around with Linnea and we got her laughing up a storm on camera. I guarantee you will smile bigger than you have in a while. And since it's a little bit more cuteness than I can handle, I'm gonna step outside for a minute and take a few deep breaths in a paper bag, splash my face with the garden hose on full blast and then come back and resume normal life. Enjoy.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=12386280&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=ff0179&fullscreen=1

And here's a picture of some AWESOME hair for good measure:

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I'm not really sure where her neck went.

Who loves ya, baby?

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Mum Mum Linnea

My dear grandmother went to be with Jesus this morning at 7:30. I had been praying for Him to call her home all night after my sister and I went to visit her in hospice care around 10:00 p.m. It was awful; her lungs had filled with fluid because she refused to take her medicine, and she was essentially- slowly, devastatingly- drowning. The sound of her fighting for every breath was heart-wrenching. The nurses said she wasn't in any pain, but… I don't know. I just wanted it to stop- for her sake. But the thought of her being alone in her final hours hurt more. Our brother showed up at around 10:30, and our parents around 11:00. We were all there to say goodbye. There to kiss her on the cheek one last time. We left shortly before midnight, and then we all went home and waited for the news that we both welcomed and feared. I didn't sleep a wink last night.

I don't remember life before Mum Mum. She had lived with my parents and I since I was four years old. I grew up and became the woman I am today because of her influence in my life. When I saw her for the last time last night, I was flooded with happy memories from my childhood that I had long since forgotten about. I shared all of them with her and knew she could hear me because she tried to respond. I made sure that she knew how much I loved her.

When I was three, before she lived with us, I used to get so excited to go see Mum Mum at her apartment and take her out to the fountain to look for goldfish. I remember one Halloween when my parents took me to the drug store for my costume, and we headed straight over to Mum Mum's, knocked on her door and she opened it and said, "Well my goodness, where did you come from?" and I said, "Skagg's." Ha! I remember playing with her ceramic leopard and trying on her shoes and her jewelry and playing on her reclining board and watching Nick at Nite with her. Our favorite show was Mr. Ed. I would sit on the back of the couch behind her and put velcro rollers in her hair. Every night before I went to bed, I would bring in my stuffed dog Henry, and she would sit him on her lap and I would ask him all kinds of silly questions, and she would nod his head yes or no, and I would giggle uncontrollably. I took Henry along on our visit last night, and happily she was not alone in her final moments because he was with her :) Sometimes I would drink water straight out of the gallon jugs she kept in her room and she never minded. I would run around the dining room table and say to her, "Chase me, Mum Mum! Chase me!" She would pick me up from school every day and take me to Smitty's and buy me a custard-filled donut- my favorite. She loved to drink Instant Breakfast, so naturally I did, too. When we went out and about on the weekends with Mom and Dad, Mum Mum and I would sit in the back seat and she would tap her fingers on the seat to the music. I've always done that, and now I know why. She used to feed filet mignon to our family dog, Muffin- my, how she loved that little dog! She is finally with her again :) When I got older, we would go to the mall together. And boy, when I turned into a bratty teenager, did we ever fight. But she never made me feel unloved. She always, always reminded me that she loves me unconditionally. She always told me that we shared a special bond, and we did- right to the very end. When I visited her in hospice over the weekend, even though she was confused and intensely medicated, she greeted me with a huge smile. She mixed up a lot of other people, but she always knew me for some reason. I will never forget her saying to me, "Oh, my Andrea, you lit up the room when you walked in! Seeing you makes me so happy." Whatever floats your boat, Mum Mum 🙂

I hated to see how gradually and yet suddenly her physical and mental health declined. She just started to fall apart and it was heartbreaking- not only for her but for my parents who, bless their hearts, worked tirelessly to care for her over the past several years. It goes without saying that they sacrificed a lot for her sake and I won't lie and say that there isn't a part of all of us that is relieved that they are free to enjoy their retirement years now- and I am certain that Mum Mum would want that. After 95 years of life, and a very rough past couple of years… it was simply time.

But the difficulties are not what I'm going to choose to remember, even though they're the most fresh in my mind. I am going to remember everything good about her. I will do my best to live my life with no regrets because even after 95 years, she would tell me that life is incredibly short, that time just flew by and she could hardly believe she had made it that far. Even before her death, I had decided to forgive, to do what I could to right wrongs, to make life count, to love unconditionally, to give without expectations, to make the most of my time with the people I love as long as I am blessed to experience it. Honestly, to choose any less than that would be nothing short of pathetic. I praise God for the example He gave me in our dear Mum Mum- one that I will try my best to carry on for my own daughter and her kids someday.

Every night, even into my adult years, she would say to me, "Who loves ya, baby?" She got a kick out of Kojak and his lollipops. And I would kiss her on her hand and we would blow each other kisses and catch them. And I would say back, "Who loves ya, Mum Mum?" Well, there's no question about that. We will all miss you for the rest of our days. But the good news is, we will see you again. The glory, wholeness and love you must be experiencing now no doubt pales in comparison to anything  you experienced on earth. And for that, I will forever be grateful.

It really was OK to let go of this life, wasn't it, Mum Mum? You had a good run at it. And my goodness… look how beautiful you were.

Mum Mum high school

Who loves ya, Mum Mum?

Helen Mae Eiler, 1914-2010

Arise and be comforted
For the Lord, He is good to the weary
And even the young heart can tire and fall
But He knows them all
For the Lord, He will renew their strength
And they will soar on wings as eagles
And they will run and never grow weary
They will walk and not grow faint
For the Lord, He is good
Lift your eyes to the heavens
For the creator is living in you
Come surrender as you are
And know that you'll never stray too far
Let His power within you heal your heart
Lift your eyes to spacious skies
Let Him chart your way to flight

Spread your wings and fly

For the Lord, He is good

~Arise and Be Comforted by Watermark

(If you are a family member or friend, share a favorite memory or your favorite thing about Mum Mum! I would love to hear what you have to say, and I'm sure everyone else would too 🙂

Overwhelmed, but it’s OK- I have pickles!

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Goodness, I've been terrible at keeping up with this thing. For some reason, last week was incredibly tough- I have been scheduled to come into work an hour earlier than usual because our busy season is starting, and while it means more money in the bank, it cuts into my productive time that I spend working on my business. Add to that the fact that I am finally starting to feel pregnant- lower back aches, pinched sciatic nerve, and a full-blown belly that gets in the way of everything- and I come home from a measly five hour shift feeling quite exhausted. It's a double-edged sword, and I don't mean to complain. I'm thankful to have a job working with good people, but I can't help but be nervous that the clock is ticking LIKE MAD and I can't give 100% to getting No Strings up and running as quickly as possible, and that's the one thing that I will be doing to earn income once Elska (that's her nickname!) arrives. Working outside the home is not part of our plan. And it's getting harder and harder to be on my feet all day the more pregnant I become, but we need my paycheck.

More than that, I need clients! Send 'em my way, people. I can't wait to help small businesses get ahead in this tough economy.

I'm happy to say that I have generated some interest, and I'm doing some work for a friend that will help me nail down certain processes complete with constructive criticism. I am so excited to actually start working with paying clients and building a name for myself, so for now I'm working on marketing and networking- a full-time job all on its own. I have a lot of support and great ideas from friends and family that I'm sure will help me along the way.

But enough about No Strings. This is a mom blog, after all!

I am five days away from the start of my third trimester, and I cannot tell you how shocked I am at how quickly time has flown. We have been in consistent adjustment, covering all the bases including fear, elation, joy, amazement, and just feeling plain overwhelmed by all we have ahead of us. At the very end of September, there was a morning when I had the epiphany that, HOLD ON A SECOND, let me do some math, (October 10 through November 10) + (November 10 through December 10) + (December 10 through January 10) = THREE MONTHS UNTIL OUR DAUGHTER IS BORN. I then woke up Cody (it was before 6:00 a.m.), shared my startling revelation, and launched into full-blown panic mode complete with the urgent desire to jump out of bed and immediately start organizing EVERYTHING in our house, starting with the nursery-to-be. I suddenly realized that I have done very little to prepare for this huge change, and who on earth expects that she will just "wing it" when handed a newborn who is completely dependent on her? Yikes. Definitely have my work cut out for me.

In a nutshell, it's been hard not to feel a bit overwhelmed these days. I suppose last week was particularly hard because I was consistently robbed of precious time I needed by all these things that were totally out of my control- time I must devote to not only preparing for baby, but starting a business too. I don't like feeling like I'm spinning in a tornado, grasping on to anything I could that I would be able to cross off my to-do list. I'm sure that this isn't necessarily going to get better once I have a newborn in the house. Therefore, I can't help but wonder if I'm being groomed for this next stage of life by the presence of the unexpected. How I handle it now will prepare me for the juggling act I have ahead of me. I'm not gonna let it get me down!

For now, here are a couple of updated pictures:

DSCN3601 

Hugs for Elska! 27 weeks!

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Yes, I am eating out of a jar of pickles. Yes, I know how cliche that is. They were my Amma's famous bread and butter pickles, made from Cody's grandma's cucumbers from her garden. Simply heavenly! You'd eat 'em by the jar too.

Belly update: My belly makes funny shapes, like triangles and squares, when Elska stretches out and punches her dad in the hand when he antagonizes her. Haha. I actually love that she responds to him- he's just going to an amazing dad. She's really quite active- especially right before bed and right before I wake up. She isn't big enough now (about 2 pounds and 15 inches long) for her movements to keep me up or wake me out of my slumber, so for now I'm just enjoying the sensation of feeling her moving around in there. That will be the biggest thing I will miss about being pregnant- it's just amazing to me. I also figured out that this rhythmic "tapping" sensation I get every once in a while must be her hiccuping- it's SO cute! I've felt it many times before but never made the connection, because it's a different type of movement than her usual kicks and somersaults. But I love it. I love her. She's just the sweetest thing ever.

Aches and rain.

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I've noticed the past couple of days that my right wrist has been hurting, like I strained it or something. My first thought was carpal tunnel syndrome, which apparently likes to rear its ugly head during pregnancy for various reasons- mostly because your body is swelling in all kinds of odd places, LIKE YOUR WRISTS.

…?

I'm not sure the pain I'm experiencing necessarily fits the symptoms of CTS, but it sure does hurt. I'm hoping it's just a temporary thing that will go away in a couple of days, otherwise I'm in trouble.

In other news, I get my sewing machine this weekend! YES. I glanced at it briefly when we moved Amma into her apartment a couple of weeks ago, and it is safe to say that I am going to need a semester-long three-credit course just to learn how to use the thing, but once I do, no one can stop me from the projects I'm gonna tackle. I've had piles of fabric sitting around waiting for this moment… It will be glorious. I am so thankful for such a generous grandma who saved some pretty amazing items to give to my mom and me after her journey out west 🙂

Still narrowing down names… and I fully plan to return that baby name book I purchased last week. When, between you and your husband, only ten names are worthy of consideration, it might be time to check out other resources. Either that, or change your last name to something that doesn't rhyme with pretty much every girl name out there… hahaha. Because we totally have that problem. In spite of that, we have narrowed it down to some truly beautiful names and we are having a rough time choosing only one. For the record, the "psychic name," as I like to call it, is still way up there on the list. Now the question is whether I can keep it a secret or not… because once we know what her name will be, it will be nearly impossible for me to keep it in!

And finally, it's RAINING!! Woo hoo! If you have spent any longer than a year living in Arizona, you would know that rain is worthy of a parade-style celebration when it actually happens. It's happening big time right now and I would love to go frolic down the street reveling in its glory, but the lighting and thunder are keeping those impulses at bay… for now, at least. THIS IS EXCITING STUFF, PEOPLE.

Perhaps my wrist pain is a weather predictor? Here's hoping…

The Two Ns.

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Names and nurseries.

After a post-ultrasound celebratory brunch at Cracker Barrel (yeah, we're redneck like that), Cody went off to work and I went straight to Target to scout out their baby name books. I left with The Complete Book of Baby Names: The Most Names (100,001+), Most Unique Names, Most Idea-Generating Lists (600+) and the Most Help to Find the Perfect Name and went straight to work reading through all the lists, names and definitions, and have come up with a list of… eight names. And I'm all the way through the letter "O" right now. If there are 100,001+ names in this book, half of which are girl names, and I am more than halfway through the alphabet and have only come up with eight names… either the book stinks or I am incredulously picky.

The funny thing is, as I flipped through the pages while lying in bed the other night while Cody was trying to drift off to sleep (not something that was going to happen with a wife full of name ideas at his side), one name in particular popped randomly into my head, one that fit perfectly with the middle name we both like, and I asked him what he thought of it. His response: "I thought of that name earlier too. I like it."

Oh really?

"Like, this same name? Randomly popped into your head? Because I'm not even in the right section of this book to come across it right now. I just thought of it out of nowhere. And you did too? What do you think that means? Is it a SIGN from GOD? IS THIS OUR DAUGHTER'S NAME?!!!"

"Perhaps. Weird, I know. I like it. Going to sleep now…"

So the same name randomly pops into both of our heads and we both like it? What are the odds? Of course I wanted to analyze this at midnight the night before a maddeningly early morning for my husband, but I decided to spare him and turned out the light after a few extra minutes of searching. There were some cute names I made note of, but the whole time, that one name kept ringing in my head.

And no, it's not on our preliminary name list. I think the only way we would revert back to that is if I give birth, and a boy pops out.

And no, we're not telling you the name. For now, anyway.

Second on my list: the nursery. My whole life, I always vowed that if I was having a girl, I would NEVER be The Pink Mom. Pink is dumb! Pink is so cliche! Pink is for sissies! Pink Moms are SO ANNOYING!

Well, guess what. I am now The Pink Mom I swore I'd never be.

I am having visions of ever-so-pale pink walls, white lace, bird decorations (kinda trendy but I dig it), fresh flowers in mason jars, splashes of green and yellow, crocheted blankets, fluffy pillows… I know, I'm already getting completely ridiculous. As much as I wanted to be the mom who would do something different when it comes to her children's decor, I am a total sucker for pink. Not just any pink, though: it has to be pale pink. Bright colors have to be done just so in order for me to consider going there. My parents painted my room Pepto-Bismol pink when I was a kid, and looking back now, I'm not sure how my head didn't spontaneously combust. But I'm sure that it was a good idea at the time, given that it was the early 80s, and so many things were acceptable in the 80s that should simply never be mentioned EVER AGAIN.

I'm currently scouting the blogosphere for nursery ideas and would love to hear your favorites. So far I'm a big fan of Making It Lovely, The Lovely Little Things, and Craftynest. They aren't nursery/baby specific but have some great ideas. I love to be creative, and get some really great ideas in my head, but sometimes putting the ideas to paper or into existence requires some tactile inspiration that I have to see in order to fully realize my own visions. Shoot me some of your favorites and I will get this show on the road!

And finally, I can hardly stand another second of living without my new sewing machine, courtesy of Amma. I want to have craft days with my mom and grandma with all three of our sewing machines zipping along, making some of the cutest little girlie items ever for the fourth generation in the room. Oh, and perhaps a fancy new camera with which to document our adventures and finds- one of these days, anyway. For now, my ghetto Canon Elph with the broken, taped on battery case cover will have to suffice.

The Grandmas.

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I have never met two women more EXCITED about becoming grandmas than my mom and Cody's mom. They're both first-timers, and they're both beside themselves knowing that they will have a little one to cuddle and spoil in true grandma fashion. It's the best thing ever. 

I have come to the conclusion that my mom was put on this planet for one purpose, and one purpose only: to be a grandma. Or rather, an amma, as we Icelanders call our dear grandmothers, as I always have with my mom's mom. (My dad's mom was always Mum-Mum to everyone… we aim for different in our family, apparently.) She can literally hardly contain herself as she anticipates the arrival of this little one. Every time I see her she puts her hands on my still-flat tummy, her face just beaming because SHE KNOWS WHAT'S IN THERE! It's SO CUTE. The same can certainly be said for Cody's mom. He said it best: upon finding out that we are expecting, she was "activated," Terminator-style: full grandma mode, ON. It's fantastic.

"Amma" and "Grandma" are going to be amazing blessings to us. They already are. My mom calls me every other day to check in on me and my "little blueberry," as she calls our growing child, along with occasional e-mails to let me know she's thinking of us. Cody's mom calls and e-mails both of us to see how I'm feeling, to see how she can help us out, or just to let us know how everyone is doing and that she loves us. It's wonderful knowing that we have such a core of support in them- that's where it starts, really. No one will be more hands on with our child than our own precious mothers. 

Nothing makes you appreciate your mom more than becoming a mom yourself. Someday I'll understand the magic of watching your children start families of their own. But for now, Cody and I have a front-row seat, and two grandmas who love this "little blueberry" more than words can say.