"Since the day they got married
He'd been praying for a little baby boy
Someone he could take fishing
Throw the football and be his pride and joy
He could already see him holding that trophy
Taking his team to state
But when the nurse came in with a little pink blanket
All those big dreams changed
And now, he's wrapped around her finger
She's the center of his whole world
And his heart belongs to that sweet little, beautiful, wonderful, perfect
All-American Girl, Carrie Underwood
Today was the biggest day yet in our journey toward parenthood. This morning, at our ultrasound at 9:30, we learned that Baby is a GIRL! I cannot begin to explain the change this news has made in my heart as we anticipate the arrival of our little one. Seeing her little face for the first time, hearing the ultrasound technician say that she appears healthy and growing at the right pace, pointing out her brain and her organs and her tiny little hands and feet and watching her kick her legs was the most awe-inspiring, breathtaking thing I've ever seen. Perhaps it was the pregnancy hormones kicking into gear (OK, I fully intend to blame it on that), but I was such a happy, weepy mess the whole time as I took in the life that's taking shape in my belly. I was changed forever, through and through.
I had a feeling for a while now that our baby is a girl, although my pregnancy didn't start out that way. For much of the first trimester I was pretty intent on the idea that we were having a boy. There was no rhyme or reason to this whatsoever, it was just my thought process at the time. But as things progressed, I started gravitating toward female names, the color pink, and the idea of making adorable, frilly things for a darling, imaginative daughter, and a life of watching her grow and learn new things every day, and the idea stuck like glue. I actually began to think that if I learned we were expecting a boy, there would be a little twinge of disappointment. I always scolded myself for thinking such ridiculous thoughts, since the most important thing would be having a healthy child, and loving him or her no matter what kind of news comes out of that ultrasound.
And then, when I woke up this morning, my mind was flooded with thoughts of a life with a girl, and life with a boy, and the realization that I had absolutely no preference of one over the over. I was completely at peace with the possibility of either outcome, and when the ultrasound technician said, "Oh! There it is… are you guys ready?" I was totally unbiased, and completely ready for whatever she had to say. And when the news came that we are having a girl, I squealed with delight and cried very happy tears, and knew with all my heart that I would have felt exactly the same way had she said, "It's a boy!"
Without a doubt, a switch was flipped, and my life was changed forever. I was flooded with such a sense of connectedness and love and bliss that I couldn't stop smiling all day. We are one step closer to knowing this person- our daughter!- and raising her to be the best version of herself. Cody and I do not want a spoiled princess, and have all the intentions in the world to keep her from becoming one. I have all kinds of ideas and hopes and dreams for who she will become, but the truth is, I have no control over that- only influence. She already is who she is, and all we can do is our best to raise her in a home full of love, joy, and encouragement; to set positive examples of what it is to be a woman, and how a man should take care of his family, and set the standard for the men that will inevitably enter her life someday; to keep her healthy; to point her toward the God that Cody and I know and love and pray that she finds Him too. She is our little gift, our little girl, and nothing could have prepared me for the joy that I have found in getting to be her mom.