Weddings and parties and scary baby faces, OH MY!

I just let out a big ol' sigh of relief: the summer wedding madness has come to an end. While it was so much fun and such a blessing to be an attendant in two of my dearest friends' weddings, I have to admit that I am glad it's behind me. Three out-of-state weddings in the span of three weeks was indeed a daunting task for us, but no doubt worth it to witness my friends marry some great guys. Here's a picture of my BFF Amber and me pre-ceremony:


She was a gorgeous bride.

Found out another friend from college is pregnant and due two days after me. I say we just all get together in the labor and delivery room and have a party since there are enough of us to have a legit fiesta. Celebrate by throwing back a Hoegaarden or two, perhaps the ones that are sitting in my fridge right now, mocking me in all their white, wheaty, delicious glory. For now I'm just living vicariously through my husband and anyone else who comes over to partake of our beer stash, catching whiffs as I pop the caps and hand them out to guests. You may catch me hanging on to the bottle a little longer than I should when you try to take it from me. DO NOT TAKE THIS BEER FROM ME. IT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT OF MY YOUTH.

Amber and Matt got married in the same church he grew up in, which is so old that it didn't have an air conditioner until this summer, a Catholic church full of all the traditional stained glass, statues, and carvings you would expect. Fortunately, because Amber is not Catholic, we did not have to sit through a full Mass, but what we did have to endure were the horrific baby faces staring down at us from above. Amber warned me about this, but really, nothing can prepare a first-timer for the sheer terror they invoke deep in the pit of your soul. Apparently they had been there all along, carved out of the wood frames around statues of Jesus and Mary, but some genius decided that they should be painted in "lifelike" colors, and let me be the first to tell you that there is nothing natural looking about these evil cherub wannabes. They all looked like demon seed and one in particular looked like a vampire because the red paint (yes, red) they used to paint its lips was running down both sides of its chin. The eyes were wide open and were the kind of creepy that no matter where you stood in the church, it always looked like all four of them were watching you. All the time. NOT OK.

Amber's sister Brandie, a fellow bridesmaid, was seven months pregnant at the time of the wedding.

Me: "Did you SEE those baby faces? How can they not think those are THE MOST TERRIFYING things their parishoners have ever seen? Ever?"

Brandie: "I'm going to have nightmares about them…"

Me: "You and me both."

Brandie: "Ha. You're going to have a nightmare that you're going to give birth, and your baby will look like that!"


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